sarah null photography ~ family, newborn, and children photography in raleigh, nc

No Day But Today

Five years ago today, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

It was a shock and left us reeling, for sure. But I’m a twinmama; our boys were nine months old (and one day) at the time of my diagnosis. I quickly realized that it simply was not an option for the cancer to win, to leave my sweet husband and my precious children. No, I clearly had to kick some cancer ass.

Knowing that it was not an option to not fight the cancer, to not win, I took the approach I learned early on as a twinmama: Rise to the Occasion. With the Rise to the Occasion philosophy, you just do. You don’t give up. You do the not-fun stuff because you know (or you hope) that that will get you to the fun and happy stuff that much sooner.

There wasn’t a lot of whining or why meeeeee or pityparties because, well, surgery and chemo and hair loss and all that is simply What Must Be Done to get to the end result of spending more time with my family and watching the children grow up.

I’ll be the first to say that I was very fortunate in that we caught the cancer early and the chemotherapy and bilateral mastectomy and other superfun surgeries seem to have done the trick so that I am still cancer-free five years later. But, you know, I rather think that rising to the occasion sure didn’t hurt anything, either.

So why am I a photographer now, in my AD (After Diagnosis) life? Because one of the major lessons (or even gifts) that I gained from having cancer is to not waste time, not regret not doing something, to find happiness where you can, and to strive to give happiness to others. To steal a phrase from Rent:

“Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.”

I would regret not going for photography, not going for giving others that little joy or thrill from seeing their child captured perfectly in a photograph. I would regret not paying it forward, the little kindnesses shown to me when I was sick by friends and strangers alike. I would regret not reaching for and giving into the creativity and beauty I’m allowed to work with behind the camera lens. I would regret not taking this extra time on earth to do something that gives happiness to others. I would regret not taking a golden opportunity such as the workshop to learn more and truly expand my horizons — I have come a very long way in five years, but there’s oh so much more I can learn.

So I don’t regret and I’m sure as hell not missing out on life.

a great many thanks to Summer of Real Promises Photography for taking these beautiful photos of me to mark the occasion of my Fifth Diagnosiversary.